Casino: Take Two

I’m sitting at a buffet table wearing a chic cocktail gown, engrossed in a mound of crab legs, laughing like a madwoman in a room full of senior citizens wearing Hawaiian shirts, or fleece vests. (Dear reader, a few of them are even wearing Hawaiian shirts with fleece vests.) At some point in my travels I made a gross miscalculation.

Now it’s up to me to remedy it.

After washing my hands of greasy butter, and chocolate sauce from the frozen yogurt machine, I’m also ready to wash my hands of this entire mishap and just go home. But an International Woman of Mystery would never be so easily deterred. It’s a Saturday night. I’ve braved weekend traffic on 1-70 to get here. I’ve still got $25 and I’m wearing a fabulous dress. Ocean’s Eleven, it is not, but something good must come of this.

I am Jenny G.

lt is early. But to an International Woman of Mystery, it matters not. The ability to exist and function in varying time zones is crucial – a necessity for survival. The last time Dzsenifer saw 5 a.m. was sometime circa 2009 for a Black Friday sale at Banana Republic.

But today is a new day. And anyway, I’m not Dzsenifer. I am Jenny G.: International Woman of Mystery.

Ten Things I Need

So now that it’s decided, now that we’re doing this, I’m going to need a game plan. It’s a bit overwhelming, becoming an International Woman of Mystery and all. How does a girl go from being a doormat to kicking down doors? I’ve decided to start with the basics. Mysteriousness: 101. I’ll start by tackling the essentials, acquiring all that I need to look and act the part before moving on to more complicated missions. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far: